This is what I’ve learned in the last three months: co-worker incompetence is the leading cause of blog death in the Wasteland. Seriously, I’m surrounded by a bunch of new employee know-nothings who think they know everything, therefore not listening to a word anyone says (except whomever they’re currently trying to suck up to, which, unfortunately, is never me). Doing their entry level tasks half-assedly means more work & longer hours for me. Not that I don’t mind some overtime, but I’m not a happy camper when I’m stuck late because of the “Oh sorry, I was chatting for the last hour & forgot that I had 50 transactions in my window that you have to scan before you can leave! Silly me! I’ve gotta go flirt & smoke cigarettes behind the building before getting my nails done! Bye!” I’m not kidding, y’all, that accurately describes four out of our seven tellers. Weep for me, Wasteland Wanderers, weep for me.
Since coming back from vacation, I’ve pretty much been restraining myself from breaking this out at work:
Although this last week, I’ve felt like Artax here:
Ok, this part in The NeverEnding Story used to kill me as a child, but I laughed all the way through the clip. Maybe it’s because I just ate the most wonderful salad so my tummy is happy? Maybe I’m feeling sadistic? I think I’m just tired & slap happy after being filled with rage during my entire shift this morning. Anyhoo, on with the post.
By the time I barely survive work without committing mass homicide, commute home, cook & eat dinner, & finally shower, I’m ready to stare mindlessly into space or sleep on the floor (which I do more often than I care to admit). In other words, I have little energy or brain power to write. Which is maddening, because I love to write & I love to entertain you all with this little blog. Life has been about day to day survival, later, rinse, & repeat.
A couple weeks ago, Ranger Mike & I were watching the Golden Globes, & I had an epiphany. Sidenote: it was kind of hilarious for us to watch the awards, since we hadn’t seen a single film or tv show that was nominated. Ahh, the life of gamers/readers who don’t have cable. We did do a free trial of Netflix back in Dec, & watched all kinds of crazy foreign films & got hooked on Battlestar Galactica. What was I talking about? Oh yes, the Globes. I only wanted to watch the red carpet arrivals to see the gowns, but we were sucked in to the ceremony by Tina Fey & Amy Poehler. That mess was hilrious!
I was delighted that Hugh Jackman took home an award (he’s a brilliant actor & too often overlooked), & Adele’s sincere new mom acceptance speech made me wish we were neighbors. However, it was Jessica Chastain’s speech that resonated in my soul like a cathedral bell.
I think I was in third grade the first time I watched the Academy Awards & thought, “I want one of those.” Though the odds may not be in my favor, I look to the example of Diablo Cody: dancer turned blogger turned Oscar winning screenwriter. Nothing is impossible.
Pondering Ms. Chastain’s speech, I wondered how many experiences had slipped away because I allowed fear of failure, criticism, self doubt, & the struggles of daily survival to dissuade me? So my mantra for this new year is “Life is an adventure. Dare it.” I’m tired of surviving, keeping (not so) calm & carrying on. I want to LIVE.
That’s right, Wasteland Wanderers, I’m determined to take the bull by his proverbial balls this year. It’s a new era in Mayan reckoning, & soon to be the Chinese year of the Snake. RM & I are both snakes. Y’all, this is our year to get out of the ghetto & make some noise!
Do you have any mantras or goals for this new year? Not crappy resolutions you know you’ll break before Valentine’s Day, but “bull’s balls” goals for real change. Bull’s Balls Goal #1: I want Claire Danes’ post-baby figure on my pre-baby body. So I’m on week three of a new nutritional plan where I eat five or six small meals & mini snacks, rather than two small meals, one snack, & a massive binge dinner. My 30 min a day, five day a week exercise plan was derailed when I got sick & then strained my lower back (note to self: don’t lift 50 lb boxes after being sick for three days, and while wearing high heels).
Bull’s Balls goal #2: Write more. When I started this blog almost two years ago, I was writing four posts a week on top of my regular job! What the frakk?! It was entertaining & therapeutic. I’d like to get back to that. How am I going to achieve this goal? I’ve been searching out & applying for writing-centric jobs; I love to blog, why not get paid to do it? Also, I’ve been trying a load of new recipes (we were in a food rut), and it’s red carpet season; both lend themselves to reinstating Meatless Mondays & Stylin’ Saturdays. I’ve also been pondering less stressful non-writing jobs, ie stockist positions at Costco or the like. My theory is that if I could cut out my two freeway commute, the stress of being a banker (in a recession, nonetheless), perhaps I’d have the energy to write more in my free time. I can handle being on my feet, I’m on my feet more hours than not, & at least as a stockist I could wear shoes with some support to them (see previous paragraph re: moving file boxes while balancing in heels).
Come on, Wasteland Wanderers, don’t be shy! In the comments below, share your 2013 Bull’s Balls goals, goal busting strategies, or favorite inspiration quotes! Here’s a good one to get those motivational juice flowing:
“When you come to the edge of all the light you know, and are about to step off into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing one of two things will happen: there will be something solid to stand on, or you will be taught how to fly.”
I suddenly have the irresistible desire to put a pearl necklace on my head & ride a Good Luck Dragon. Make a wish, grab the bull by the balls, and as always, aim for the head.
Rock-it Ruby signing off.
Media courtesy of YouTube users Marvel, Gabriel Manro, NBC (x2), jasinskija08, lucyty81, and people.com
Surviving the Wasteland 